Jokes

 

What do you call a pirate with 20 eyes?

“A piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirate”

What does a tree drink at parties?

“ROOTBEER”

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?

 "You're too young to smoke!"

Which letter is absolutely salty?

“The letter Sea”

Why was the math book so sad?

“Because it had so many problems”

What did zero say to eight

“Nice belt”.

Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?

“Because then it would be a foot!”

(Teacher asks his student :)"What are you going to write your history essay on?"

"Paper"

Why did teacher wear her sunglasses?

“Because her students were too bright”

Geography Teacher:  what s the oldest country in the world?

Student: Chile

History teacher: what was Camelot?

Student: a place where a camel are parked.

History teacher: why do we refer to the period around 1000 years AD as the dark ages?

Student: because there were so many knights.

Math teacher: Paul, if you had five pieces of chocolate and Sam asked for one of them ,how many would you have left?

Paul: five

Science teacher: what are nitrates?

Student: cheaper then day rates.

Student: would you punish some one for some thing they didn’t do?

Teacher: of course not.

Student: good because I didn’t do my homework.

Teacher: Jane, why did you miss school yesterday?

Jane: I didn’t miss it at all.

Teacher: that’s three time, I have asked you a question. Why won’t you reply?

Student: because you told me not to answer you back.

Teacher: If you had one dollar and asked your dad for one dollar, how much money would you have?
Student: One dollar.
Teacher: You don't know your math.
Student: You don't know my dad!

Antonio: Do you know what BRB means, Michael?
Michael: Be right back
Antonio: NO! DONT LEAVE ME HERE! IT’S DARK! WAAAAH!
Father: Why did you get such a low score in that exam?
Son: Absence!
Father: You were absent on the day of the exam?
Son: No but the boy who sits next to me was!
Pupil: Great news, teacher says we have an exam today come rain or shine.
Classmate: So what's so great about that?
Pupil: It's snowing outside!
Father: How did your exams go?
Son: I got nearly 100 in every subject
Father: What do you mean, nearly 100?
Son: The questions didn't give me any trouble, just the answers!
Birth, Death comes once in life…
Love comes once in life…
Marriage comes once in life…

But

why does this “EXAM” come again and again...
 TEACHER: Fred, your ideas are like diamonds.
FRED: You mean they're so valuable?
TEACHER: No, I mean they're so rare.

TEACHER: Did you do your homework?PUPIL: No teacher.
TEACHER: Do you have an excuse?PUPIL: Yes, it's all my mother's fault.
TEACHER: She kept you from doing it?PUPIL: No, she didn't nag me enough!
I'm really glad you called me Fred, Dad
Why is that ?
Because when I got to school that's what everybody called me !

 Posted by Anusha Aleem and Hiba Kamran